Actually I Do Care

Looking For Oneness In All The Right Places....

I sat on the shore on Easter Sunday and watched as my two little boys 4 and 6 years old, played in the surf. It was the very first time they had gone to the beach and not been anxious about the waves.

Something had shifted for them. It had become a joyous game. They rolled around, got gently knocked down, rode the waves on their boards and laughed and played for a few hours.

Waving back as they checked in every so often, i knew in one of those moments that this was oneness. They were one with the sea and themselves and everyone around them. I was one with myself as i celebrated my family, my birthday, my incredibly blessed and fortunate life.

We were all 100 percent plugged in to ourselves and our environment and it felt easy and joyous and luxurious.

It got me thinking about how we seek to feel the oneness in our lives. 

We all like to feel connected. That's oneness - unity. Connected to ourselves, our family, our community, our environment. Those connections bring a sense of purpose and calmness of being.

As human beings we aspire for that calmness that comes from knowing we are in a safe space. The safe space in reality comes from the surrender and acceptance of acknowledging that nothing is permanent. It's all a path on the way to somewhere else. When we learn and live this is when we become one. One with all the pieces of ourselves, each other, our world.....

In between, we try to create safe spaces in other ways by owning things, owning people, being rigid in our feelings and thoughts, self medicating to numb our feelings and our thoughts, being part of a group, seeking constant care from others for our mental, physical, spiritual or emotional wellbeing.

These behaviours all have pay offs. Some short term, some decades worth, but they can block us from the flow. It's really hard work to maintain them too. The illusion is that they can make us feel we are doing something worthy because they are consuming. A bit of a martyr syndrome sometimes develops which appears to confirm that we are doing our bit to suffer along in this life like "everyone else.

But protecting ourselves with external stuff does not prevent life from happening to us. When i was in my  20's i had a twenty four hour period filled with three things that i thought back then were the end of me. I signed divorce papers in the afternoon, my father passed away in the evening and i miscarried an unrealised pregnancy over night.   It was like the very fabric of everything i recognised was being torn to shreds. Of course it was just life flowing like it always does but my attachment to those situations made it difficult to understand at the time.

I see it happen to other people now and recognise it clearly. They might lose everything they own, maybe a relationship ends, someone passes away, someone becomes ill - you know the list - just look around you. They are all parts of life but we still act surprised when they come along.

It's like life is screaming at us to wake up. Plug back in. Turn your switch on. Reconnect. You are a part of the Oneness already - you just have to plug back in.....

Henosis (Greek ἕνωσις - unity, oneness)

My first thoughts on where this post was heading was about why we think we need other people to rescue us and reconnect us to ourselves. Having slept on it i see that each stop we make with others - healers, guru's, carers, partners - are sign posts along the way. They are our chance to remind ourselves that we are already worthwhile.

We are all one - but sometimes life clouds our outlook. So tidy up your space inside your mind and find the on switch. It's been there the whole time. Then breathe, smile and reconnect. It feels like coming home and it feels really good!